Ironman

So it’s been almost three weeks since I did the ironman and I just figured I’d give a run down on the race and the amazing weekend I had, before I forget the details. Well to start, I am the luckiest girl in the world have the family, boyfriend, and friends I do. They were all so supportive of me and I’m so blessed to have such a great group of people in my life.
As most know, or could guess, I was so frickin’ nervous about the ironman….would I finish, would I make all the cut offs, would I fuel myself properly, etc… Oh and I also had a very strange fear of actually dying doing this thing…I don’t know, with all these young people that I know recently dying of heart attacks, I was freaked. Really, I just think I was worrying about anything there could be to worry about.

At any rate, we got into Florida on Thursday around 5pm and my parents were at the airport to pick Ryan and me up. I hadn’t seen them since Labor Day so it was nice to have them greet us right off the plane. After arriving at my parent’s house in the Villages we went for dinner with my brother and his wife, Nadine, who had been down in Florida since Tuesday. Dinner was great but this is when I started getting nervous. My brother, Shane, was also doing the race but he was doing the half ironman. Well he must have been excited because that’s all he talked about! Talking about all the training and races was starting to make me really nervous, but I kept trying to push it out of my head.

That night I slept on the couch and didn’t sleep that well and actually made Ryan switch with me (he had the air mattress, I had the couch) in the middle of the night…what a nice boy! Friday was a just a series of stops to get those last minute details done, including packet pick up, putting my bike back together after it had been the bike box, etc... Surprisingly, going to the race site for packet pickup made me feel a lot calmer and more relaxed about the race; the water looked calm (dramatic irony here) and the transition was set up. A side note on this race, the IM was held at the same location as my very first triathlon, the Great Clermont triathlon, which was an Olympic distance. Actually, some parts of the course were the same as the Great Clermont tri. After I had racked my bike (which you had to do the night before) and finished some last minute details we decided to head back to the house for some food.

After some pasta and good conversation with the family I headed bed, fully expecting not to be able to fall asleep and boy was I right. The race just kept popping in my head fueling my nerves and impeding my ability to sleep. However, alas, I was able to sleep for about 3 hours, not a lot but enough.

I got up at 4:30am with a brick in my stomach and nerves that made me insane. Around 5 am we headed to the race start…which was 45 minutes away. Upon arrival at the race site I finished setting in place my transition stuff, readying my bike, and special needs bag. Of course I also had to do my last minute “duty” that all triathletes and runners hope for before a race. As I got into line for the potties Ryan told me to hurry up as the race was to start in 15 mins…yea about 13 mins later I was out of the bathroom….damn girls and their really long bathroom lines! At this point I started freaking out….I didn’t have my wet suite on and people were lining up at the start! I rushed to get my wet suite on with Ryan’s help and a few curse words and literally ran to the start as the gun was going off. I guess looking back it was a good thing I didn’t stand at the starting line waiting/ panicking about the impending start of the swim, where it is inevitable to be pummeled by other triathletes.

Well into the swim I went. The swim is notoriously the portion that I like the least and the conditions didn’t make this any better. The previous day’s calm water had turned into a very choppy mess. The waves in the lake were hard to swim against and continually pushed me off course…I bet you that in the end I did about a 2.6 mile swim instead of a 2.4 mile swim just due to the choppiness of the lake. Although , I felt absolutely fine in the swim and wasn’t tired in the least when I came out in an hour and thirty six minutes….absolutely horrible swim but eh, what did I care, I was just glad to be done with the swim.

My transition wasn’t too bad but I wasn’t in any rush to get onto the bike. Throughout this whole race I wasn’t too concerned with my time, I just wanted to finish. So onto the 112 mile bike I went. I’m not a terribly good cyclist and that’s mainly due to laziness and not pushing it on the bike, thus this was the portion of the race I was most worried about. During training I had only done one century and maybe two rides that were over 60 miles….ya see, laziness. Obviously I had a good reason to worry about finishing the 112 miles…but I kept that thought out of mind and just kept pedaling. The first 40 miles of the bike course was uphill and not just rolling little hills but pretty decent climbs, although I just kept saying to myself “each pedal stroke the closer I am to the finish”. Around mile 50 I started getting pretty lonely and thus my mental status declined. There were only 300 people doing this race, thus there was a lot of time I spent alone without a person in sight. I knew that around mile 60 I would be arriving at the special needs station for some food and more importantly Ryan would be there waiting to cheer me on. I have never had such a boost in energy and moral in a race as I did when I saw Ryan. I was just overjoyed to see him and with a little encouragement I was ready to keep pedaling and finish the bike. After seeing Ryan my pace increased dramatically from about 14.5 mph for the first half of the bike (keep in mind a lot of challenging hills though) to about 17 mph for the second half, I started passing person after person and each time I passed someone I was that much more charged to finish the bike strong…and that I did. I finished the bike in about seven and half hours, maintaining that 17mph and the best part was my legs didn’t even seem tired. At this point I was just SO happy to be off the bike and happy that all I had left was the marathon.

My second transition was really slow, as I talked to my family and ate a little bit of a smashed PB & J, but soon enough I started the run.

The run was three 8.5 mile loops that were pretty flat for the most part and there were aid stations every mile. For the first 3 miles of the run I felt fine, I started out conservatively and hoped to pick up my pace later on, which was in the end a good plan. However, around mile three I didn’t really feel that great and slowed my pace down drastically…I did the first 8.5 miles in an hour and twenty five minutes…an awful time. Right around the end of the first lap I saw Ryan again and expressed, not so nicely, my discomfort and desire to kill myself. Ryan was great! He comforted me and told me I would be fine and just to keep going.

Well damn, did I go. Somehow from somewhere my legs decided that they wanted to run and run fast! For the second and most of the third loop I average about a 9 min per mile pace. This was crazy fast within consideration of the 112 mile bike ride I just had. I just kept pushing myself mile after mile hoping that my luck with my legs wouldn’t run out, but of course it did. As all marathon runners experience and loathe I hit “the wall” around mile 22. My legs decided they were done for the day and they forced me to walk. I only walked for about 10 mins when I realized that my legs might be done but my heart and desire to finish were not. I pushed myself as hard as I could (13 min miles hahaha) for the remaining four miles and finished, what I considered, strong. Crossing the finish line was the best feeling I’ve ever had. I actually started to cry but my lungs weren’t up for that so I started to hyperventilate instead. Haha! Although that didn’t last long, as soon as I saw my family at the finish a sense of calm and pride came over me and all I could think was “I’m done, no more long workouts” haha.

I finished in 14hrs and 23 mins….what I considered a respectable time for my first IM. I was very happy with my race and my time. The day after the race I was quite sore and surprisingly, depressed. All this hard work for one day’s glory and it was just done, no more working out, no more eating like a pig, no more having nightmares about the race…it was done. Apparently this is a very common feeling among IM finishers…I’m still a little depressed that it’s all over but I’m SO excited to do this kind of race again!

The next IM on my list is IM WI in September 2009. I’m even more excited about this one, as Ryan and I will be doing it together. But until training starts for that I’m going to be running my ass off and enjoying what I truly love. Perhaps a few marathons in the coming months….I wonder if they’ll seem easier now that I’ve done an IM :)

Thank you so much Ryan and fam for your support! <3

I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger

It’s kinda funny of all the bridges I have burned, which are a lot; I feel most regret for those done at a young foolish age. Mainly my regrets are with friends I lost and where I let my foolish games get the better of me. Why is it that hindsight is 20/20? That makes me think of that song “I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger” by whoever, haha yea I’m so good with artists. Anyway, I guess it’s not possible to change the pass but is it possible to mend it? I have tried this once and it kinda blew up in my face. I was trying to reconnect with someone from my past, who I hadn’t talked to for a couple years. We both went our separate ways after college and some childish, ridiculous issues arose between us…we really stopped talking for no legitimate reason at all. I tried to mend this breach to not much avail, although I think I’m the one that dropped the ball on the situation. This person cared enough to write back, but I never found the time to continue the conversation….yea I’m probably not deserving of that friendship. I wonder if it’s too late to answer that email…it’s been over a year now, eek maybe not a good idea. I dunno, perhaps it’s worth another go around, if it means a friend that once was, is again.

Stupid blog I know.

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."
Albert Schweitzer


"The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure."
Francoise de Motteville

Career

Has anyone else ever had the feeling that the four years spent in college was a waste as you are not doing what you really want to do? I’m having an internal conflict with this. I went to Penn State, which was the best four years of my life, majoring in Chemical Engineering. I really didn’t want to major in ChemE but my dad kinda “nudged” me into it because he didn’t want me to major in just chemistry, which is what I really wanted to be in. Well it turns out I hated ChemE and it wasn’t as much chemistry as I was hoping, thus being talked into engineering again, I went into Ag and Bio engineering. I was finally happy with my major…the professors were awesome, my peers were some of the best people I’ve ever met, and the work was challenging but interesting.

I moved onto a career as a Civil and originally worked for FEMA (sorta) and another company where I did stuff I was interested in, however my interest started to decline, particularly in this last year. I’m now out of school for 4.5 years and I need a new career NOW! I am so disgusted with my current job that every hour I’m there is an hour closer to me going insane. I have been working at this job for about 10 months and I really really really hate it, actually “hate” is not strong enough of a word. (on a side note, I was at first concerned about putting this up here as some of my coworkers, that are friends, have access to this, but I just don’t care anymore, I’m just that miserable with this current employer) Thus, this makes me think, do I hate engineering because this job is SO awful, or do I truly just dislike the whole industry? Should I stick it out and find a new job that could possibly be better or find a new career? Well I think I partially found my answer last Friday.

Last week I had an interview with another company, as I’m on the phone and they’re asking me the typical interview questions, a feeling of dread came upon me. Why am I doing this? Why am I on the phone with another company for anther engineering position? I shouldn’t have been thinking these things I should have been happy at the prospect of moving on to a new experience. Yup, big red flag went up immediately. I am definitely very unhappy with my career prospects and need something better.

So, what should I do? I’m very very interested in biology and chemistry and just generally how people and the world works on a scientific level. I find myself migrating toward some type of medical field whether it be dentistry, optometry, PT, or PA…these are my top choices. So should I take the plunge and do a career move? This prospect excites me so much, thus I’m thinkin’ it would be a good option. However, the ever looming worry of money hangs over my head. If I go back to school, how will I make money? What will I do with the financial obligations I have like my car, rent, student loans, etc…? how will I pay for school itself? And another big question, what about my age? I mean, I’m no spring chicken and I would like to have a family before I’m 40. Is putting real life on hold for another four years a viable option? Is there anyone out there who can give advice?

Well I was always told by my parents that I should have a career I love; something I look forward to most mornings upon waking up...this is not how I feel. I know more thought needs to go into this but I can’t help to want this change now. I know I need to be patient but it is just so hard. I have faith that sooner or later I will end up in a profession/job that I will love, but that time can’t come soon enough.

Learn

“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”
-Mark Victor Hansen

Colorado

So I have now lived in Colorado for ten months and I find I really really miss the east coast. I’m not sure if it’s me and my desire not to give this place a try or that I truly don’t like it or a series of unfortunate events…I’m thinkin’ it’s the latter. I find that I’m a very liberal and athletic person, thus I thought what better place to live than CO. All you hear about is all the wonderful outdoor activities (including skiing of course) and the relaxed way of life... yea I haven’t seen much of that relaxed way of life. People here drive me insane! It’s all about having the best equipment or how many times you’ve been up skiing, or how many fourteeners you’ve done; it’s all just one big competition to see who is more outdoorsy. In my opinion, that’s not what being outdoorsy is about. I think it’s a personal relationship with nature and the universe surrounding you, appreciating the beautiful world we live in, NOT how many times I skied last year. I bet you I got asked over twenty times as to how many times I got up to the mountains…well I don’t know, I’m not that shallow to keep count! But to play devil’s advocate, east coast people (in particular DC peeps) aren’t all sugar and spice either. Yes, east coasters can live up to their reputation of being rude or snotty, but ya know what, not one of them would ask me how many times I’ve been to the beach (east coast equivalent of the mountains…or something). Yea I’m pretty sure I’m an east coaster at heart, but I love checking out new places to live (perhaps sometime soon I’ll be checking out another state ;) ).

As far as the series of unfortunate events go, there is just too much to list but to sum it up: sick a lot, both serious and non-serious, creepy roommate, awful AWFUL job, and my amazing, incredible, love-of-my life, cat, Yukon died L. So yea maybe some of my opinion of CO is based on things that happened to me while being out here with little friends, but things are getting better (except for the job, I still LOATHE that) and I’m still not happy with CO. I think a change is very near, and it will be one to a different state to hopefully settle down for a while, if not permanently, and be happy.

As I bitch about how awful CO is I would like to point out the wonderful things that have happened here…I met Ryan, I got a new kitty Kona, and recently added a dog, Ty Domi….OH and I skied 127 times haha j/k, I really have no idea how many times, but I have to admit the skiing is great. Meeting Ryan and building somewhat of an animal farm J are definitely worth the experience overall. As I look for a new change soon, I know that Ryan and the animals will be with me and that definitely makes me happy!

Ok ok so this post sucks, but I needed to bitch.

IM Wisconsin

Ryan completed Ironman Wisconsin last week in Madison and I couldn't be more proud of him!

After a week of not seeing each other, I flew into Milwaukee on Friday (Sept 5th) and was greeted by Ryan, who drove an hour and a half to pick me up. Upon seeing him I immediately got butterflies in my stomach, always a wonderful feeling! Ryan looked as he always does but, to me, he seemed a little nervous; I'm sure me asking him five times a day for the entire week before didn't help hehe. Yes, I secretly wanted him to be nervous. That night we hung out in Madison, met up with Ryan's sister and a few of her friends and retired a bit early, back to Joel and Sara's house.

The next morning, the day before the race, Ryan and I did a 30 min swim in Lake Monona, where the race was being held. The water was so clean and the perfect temperature, couldn't ask for better conditions for a 2.4 mile swim. After running some last minute race errands Ryan and I chilled out and just watched some PSU football. I could kinda sense Ryan getting more and more nervous as he got crankier and crankier haha. We went to bed as early as possible that night, but I found that Ryan had a little trouble sleeping, well who wouldn't?

Race day morning we were up at 4am and off to the race site we went. Anne and I dropped Ryan off and proceeded to the closest Starbucks for a morning pick me up and some food and after parking the car we met back up with Ryan. Oh boy he was definitely nervous now, his one word replies and his grumpy expression said it all.

Around 6:30am Ryan headed down to the swim start and Anne and I headed up to the top of Monona Terrace to watch the race (great suggestion Carl, thanks!). I swear I was more nervous than Ryan was at this point, I even had to take a potty break to "relieve" some of my anxiety. At 7:00am the race began and boy, what a site it was... 2,200 triathletes began the swim as a mas start. It was so cool to see 2,200 people start together, from up above it looked like a moving island of people, it almost seemed unreal...but it was just so beautiful. After an hour and 13 mins Ryan was out of the swim...his fastest time for that distance EVER! It was amazing, I was bursting at the seams with pride, I must have looked like a real idiot. tehe

Ryan proceed to the bike with a reasonable transition and off he went and off we went. I must admit I was a bit pushy throughout the day as I wanted to see/support Ryan wherever possible. Thus we headed back to Joel and Sara's house, which is conveniently on the course, but we walked to downtown Verona so we can see Ryan as many times as possible. Around mile 56 we caught a glimpse of Ryan as he raced by still looking fresh and relaxed...I was calculating in my head the whole time how fast he was going and according to my calcs 19 mph...yea he was fast. We saw Ryan again a little bit before the 100 mile mark and yet again he amazed us by his speed (18.7 mph) and his fresh demeanor. If it were me, I'd have my tongue hanging out at that point. Ryan completed the bike (112 miles) in an amazing time of 6:08! Next, the dreaded 26.2 mile run.

Ryan is definitely not a runner but he can definitely hold his own. This was the only part of the race I was worried about him. Luckily we got to see him 4 times on the run, which I think really helped his moral. At the start of the run he seemed fresh and happy to be off the bike...this soon changed. Around mile 13 Ryan looked awful, he was pale and his gate had change and you could tell he was laboring quite a bit. After seeing him at mile 13 we dashed off to try and catch him at mile 19. So from 13 to 19 is 6 miles, my guess was we would see Ryan an hour from when we saw him at mile 13, but an hour passed, then and hour and 15 mins and then an hour and a half, I was freakin' panicked! Finally around an hour and 37 mins later we saw Ryan...whew! At the time I didn't know Ryan had hit the wall around mile 14 and had to walk for an hour...that blasted wall, we all can understand that. At this point I kinda underestimated Ryan and assumed he would do the last 7 miles in an hour and 20 mins...boy was I wrong he did it in an hour and 5 mins. He looked awesome when he was finishing, all smiles and tired as hell. I was so incredibly proud of him I was almost in tears! He crossed the finish line in 12:22:10, one hell of a time for a first ironman, let alone his fourth triathlon ever!!!!

I truly believe Ryan was so successful, not only because of his consistent training but because of the dozen+ friends and family he had there cheering him on. I have never seen such support of one individual in a race....now those are some good friends. As of last Monday Ryan and I are both signed up to do IM WI next year...together. I'm very excited, to be able to share this race with Ryan.

Religion

Religion is certainly a controversial topic and I’m pissed that it always is. So I was born and raised Roman Catholic but as I grow older I find that the Roman Catholic church stands for everything I DON’T believe in, thus am I really Catholic? I would say no; and is there something wrong with that, again I say no. My OPINION on religion/God/faith/beliefs is that it is incredibly personal. I truly believe that we have what, 6.6 billion people in this world and I believe we have 6.6 billion different Gods/religions, meaning everyone views God and religion differently. So really is there anything wrong with the fact that I was raised Catholic and I don’t go to church because of my own personal beliefs yet I still believe in God? I would say no, but others vehemently disagree with me…which is great! Without different opinions in this world life would be boring. I guess in the end I’m saying people should respect other peoples’ beliefs and opinions. Instead of judging others maybe we should step back and judge ourselves. Alright I'm done, just my two cents.

Ironman training

So I knew Ironman training was going to be tough but this is ridiculous! This is my week of workouts:
Monday: Off - but I didn't take off I swam
Tuesday: 45 min swim, 1:10 bike
Wednesday: 1:00 run, 1:30 bike
Thursday: 1:00 swim, 55 min run
Friday: 45 min swim
Saturday: 3:45 bike, 45 min run, 30min swim
Sunday: 1:50 run, 45 bike
If you are keeping track that is 14:45 of working out! this is nuts. Where the hell did my life go?...ok ok so I need to be completely honest and say that I don't do all the swim workouts, I figure I can just slide by with 2 or 3 a week. I absolutely hate swimming and even worse it costs $5 every time I go, yes I'm paying to do something I hate... Incentive gone. I know this will all be worth it in the end but right now, THIS SUCKS! I really really miss just running everyday, it was something I enjoyed and was a fantastic stress reliever. Oh well only 2 months and 18 days left.

"No Day but Today"-Johnathan Larson